Worth Fighting For
by totallybursar
Summary: Kaidan saved Shepard on Earth - Shepard saved Kaidan on Mars. That should have been the end of it, right? But now Kaidan's back and he's gunning for Shepard's heart. There's only one thing a former vigilante can do. Garrus POV no-longer-a-oneshot. Shenko ME, Shakarian ME2. Rated for language.
1. Worth Fighting For

_A/N: I have to admit, I was all about the Shenko love in ME. And while I've seen some good fics out there that do a good job at making post ME2 Shenko work for me, personally, I've never forgiven the bastard for Horizon. Jerk.  
_

_Kaidan saved Shepard from Earth - Shepard saved Kaidan from Mars. That should have been the end of it, right? But now Kaidan's back and gunning for Shepard's heart. There's only one thing a former vigilante can do... **fight**. Garrus POV oneshot. Shenko ME, Shakarian ME2._

* * *

**Worth Fighting For**

Normally, the sound of the door to the battery whooshing open is a welcome distraction. It means that there's a problem that needs his immediate attention, that requires him to think of something other than Palaven and the radio silence from his father and sister. And, who knows, it might always be Shepard.

It's not.

"Vakarian," says the last voice Garrus wants to hear. "Do you... ah... have a minute?"

His mandibles twitch irritably. "I'm in the middle of something, Major. Can't it wait?"

"I... uh... no. It's important." Even without turning, Garrus can see the man shifting from foot to foot, sense his tension. It's all there, in the gravelly voice.

Garrus schools his expression carefully before he faces the human. "What is it?" he asks shortly.

The major meets his eyes briefly and then looks away. "It's... it's about Shepard."

Garrus folds his arms over his chest. He knows what this is about - has known it was coming ever since the newest Council Spectre asked to be reinstated on the Normandy. But damned if he's going to make it _easy_.

"Don't tell me," he rumbles. "She got you with the, 'just a friendly little game, a couple of hands, it'll be fun' line, and now you owe her two years' pay and your shorts. You'll have join the queue behind Donnelly, Vega, and that Allers woman."

"Ah... no." Alenko utters a short bark of laughter. "I know how Shepard gambles, but... that's not it." He rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "I... ah... I know about you and... and Shepard."

Garrus fights every urge to bristle at the other male. Forces himself to breathe slowly, remain relaxed. Years spent behind a rifle scope have taught him how. And right now, he needs every _second _of that training.

"And?" he says, trying to keep the subharmonics in his voice steady.

That obviously isn't the answer Alenko was expecting. His eyes snap up sharply. "I don't know what the situation is between you two, but I _love_ her, Garrus," he says pointedly.

Anger begins its slow burn in his gut. Garrus has to battle every instinct not to rip the human's head off his unprotected neck. How _dare_ he make that claim! _How dare he!_

He straightens and drops his hands to his sides. He knows he's posturing, but Garrus can't help it. "The _situation_," he growls, "between Shepard and I is none of your business, Major."

Alenko half reaches out with one hand. "Look, Garrus... When she died... I... it... it nearly destroyed me. And now, with the Reapers... I can't... I _won't_ let her get away from me again."

Garrus feels his mandibles flare in disbelief. "You?" he mocks. "You think _you _were the only one affected by Shepard's death? The only one _devastated_? We _all_ were, Alenko. Joker, Liara, Tali, the crew... even the damned krogan put his head through a wall when he heard!"

To his credit, the major shifts uncomfortably. "That's... that's not what I meant, Garrus. I know that it hit the crew hard. Losing the Normandy, losing Shepard... I was at the funeral. I saw the grief."

"You obviously weren't seeing it clearly enough." Garrus can feel his throat tightening, projecting a warning vibration in his subvocals. "Part of me _died_ when they declared Shepard KIA, Alenko."

_Anderson's grief-stricken eyes meeting his own, the Councilor's face haggard and care-worn, looking far older than his 46-standard years._

_I wanted to let you know personally. The Alliance has called off the search. Shepard's status is now official._

Garrus can still remember the feeling, like a dual shotgun blast to the chest and gut. The sensation of bleeding out without losing a drop of blood. Everything fading out of the world - color, life, meaning - except the burning, gnawing feeling of _injustice_.

The major's lips firm. "Then you can understand why I'm not letting this go."

"No," Garrus snaps. "I _don't_ understand. You _let go _on Horizon."

He can see the way the human's jaw muscles bunch, and imagines how Alenko's mandibles would be working if he was turian. "Horizon was a mistake," Alenko says quietly. "I told Shepard as much. Hell, I knew it the moment it happened. Barely got back to Citadel space before sending her an apology by email."

The Spectre sucks air through his nose in a great rush and lets it back out again. "I... God, Garrus, you can't imagine what it was like, seeing her there. Knowing she was _alive_. Feeling her in my arms again." Garrus feels his talons curl into fists, "Smelling her shampoo - the one she likes, that smells like cherry blossoms..."

Alenko's eyes are soft, wistful. "And then realizing that it was true - that she was with Cerberus, even after everything they'd done. The shock, it... I... it was like being stabbed in the gut and looking down to find that the hand on the hilt belonged to the woman I loved."

_Fatigue in every muscle. Eyes burning with the need to close, to rest. Scope, drop. There's no end to the mercs. They just keep flowing over the bridge like packs of damned varren. Scope, drop. Scope..._

_He blinks, sure that he took a shot through his visor, through his brain. That he's dead. But that's okay, because it's Shepard, wearing that predatory look in her human eyes, and spirits, he's never seen anything half as beautiful, ever._

_Smiles stupidly, mandibles crushing against his helmet. Watches her gesture to the dark-colored human covering her six, and catches the insignia on the man's armor._

_Cerberus._

"I think I _can_ imagine, actually," he says dryly, with a flick of his mandibles.

Alenko looks as if he'd like to argue, but acquiesces with an almost sheepish nod. "Yeah," he says, "I guess maybe you could."

The human fixes him with a stare that borders - to a turian - on offensively challenging. "And the hell of it was, I still loved her. Even though she was with Cerberus. Even not knowing what they might have done to her, I still loved her."

This is too much. Garrus can no longer restrain himself. "**Bullshit!**" he roars. "If you loved her, you would have stood by her! If you loved her, you would have been there, on her six, every minute of that damn mission! If you loved her, you would have _listened_ to her! If you loved her, you would have trusted her!"

"You didn't. _I did_." Garrus knows his eyes must look like two bright blue marbles of fury, pupils constricted to pinpricks. Any turian would know to back off. The human doesn't.

"I had a duty to the Alliance, Vakarian. I thought you turians understood duty." The major's nostrils are flaring, and Garrus wonders if this is some human body language he's supposed to understand, the way Alenko should understand his stare.

"And I thought you humans were supposed to understand friendship. And love."

Alenko looks dumbfounded. "You... I can't... you..." Garrus has noticed that the major tends to stammer when upset.

"So you're not going to step aside, then," the human manages, finally.

"Not by a long shot," Garrus declares quietly, but with such force that his mandibles stretch painfully. "I promised Shepard I'd have her six, through hell and back, until the end."

His eyes burn like the fiery sword of the archangel he was once named for.

"Some promises are worth fighting for."


	2. Kaidan 1, Garrus 0

**Worth Fighting For  
**

_**Kaidan - 1, Garrus - 0**_

* * *

Garrus is tired, bone weary. Everyone is, he supposes. If it's not one thing dragging them from one end of the galaxy to the other, it's another. Rescues, resources or reasoning… everyone wants something from the Normandy and her crew.

The toll is beginning to show, especially on the commander.

He knows she doesn't sleep much these days; if the fact that she's rarely to be found in her quarters wasn't a giveaway, the deep, dark hollows beneath her eyes scream her exhaustion to anyone with a modicum of observational skill. She hardly eats as well; Shepard is a woman subsisting on some inner fire and little else.

Garrus is pleased, therefore, when he sees her in the mess, seated before an actual hot meal for once. He is less pleased, however, by her choice of dining companion. And he is not pleased at all by the fact that the Major is not seated across from the commander, but standing directly behind her, his hands kneading her shoulders and neck.

The turian checks the words that spring to his tongue, and carefully, methodically, scrounges in the galley for something dextro and marginally palatable.

Words float over to him. Not that he's straining to hear them, or anything, as he browses through the refrigeration unit.

"Mmmnn, Kaidan," murmurs Shepard with a pleasure that causes the turian's fingers to twitch, the hand on the door to the refrigeration unit clenching so tightly he hears a squeak of protest from the plastic. "You can keep doing that _forever_, and that is an _order_."

"Technically, you know, I outrank you, _Commander_," Kaidan murmurs in reply, bending his head so that his lips hover just over Shepard's ear.

"My ship, Kaidan," Shepard reminds him, closing her eyes and letting her head loll back against the Major's torso.

Garrus closes the refrigeration unit with more force than necessary and snatches up some kind of dextro protein bar, thinking that maybe what he really needs is located in the Normandy's lounge.

He pauses as he passes the table. "Don't forget to eat, Shepard," he reminds her gently.

Garrus feels his gut clench when she gives out a low hum and says, "This is better than food."

The Major's knowing smile and pointed stare don't improve matters.

"Still," says Garrus, trying to keep his voice light for her, "food is a requirement. The Major's neck rub is not. Besides," he adds, knowing that he failed to keep the edge from creeping into his subharmonics, "I know you're an excellent multi-tasker."

Shepard opens her eyes and Garrus is comforted somewhat when she gives him a small teasing smile. "Oh, all right," she huffs at him, picking up that odd human utensil he'd heard called a spork. "For you, I suppose I can try."

"You can do better than try," croons the Major, those damned human lips at Shepard's ear. "No eating, no massaging."

"You're a dirty bastard, Alenko," she says between bites.

"Ah… perhaps," the Major replies, his triumphant eyes mocking Garrus. "But a dirty bastard with _talented hands_…"

In his taloned fist, the turian's protein bar breaks in two.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so it _was_ a oneshot. But then I had to have a break from the stupid academic papers, and this little bit popped out... so I decided that I'd continue _Worth Fighting For_ as a series of ficlets revolving around Garrus and Kaidan and their struggle for Shepard's affections._


	3. Kaidan 1, Garrus 1

**Worth Fighting For  
**

_**Kaidan - 1, Garrus - 1**_

* * *

When Admiral Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy finally has a moment to head to the crew deck and the mess, Garrus is waiting. Not normally given to displays of affection, he nonetheless folds the quarian into an embrace.

"Tali," he murmurs into the top of her covered head, "it's good to see you again."

Tali returns the hug with enthusiasm. "It's good to see you too, Garrus," she says.

She steps back, and he can tell she's smiling, even though he can't see her expression through her faceplate. It's in her voice; in the way she stands, one hand on her hip.

"So, how is it, being the official turian Reaper expert?"

"Pretty much like being the official quarian Reaper expert, I expect," he answers. "A lot of people demanding your advice, which they then ignore."

"Keelah, you too?"

Garrus shakes his head slightly. "For a race that prides itself on its military preparedness, you would think that my people would have been inclined to have some contingency planned. But, no. The biggest warfleet in the galaxy, and the Reapers still caught us with our pants down."

Tali laughs. "You've certainly picked up a lot of human expressions," she teases.

"I blame Joker," Garrus tells her.

She sets her head on one side. "Not Shepard?"

"Oh, Shepard contributed," he says easily. "But Joker's got more of them, and his are more colorful."

Tali laughs again, but sobers quickly.

"At least your people weren't shortsighted enough to start a war on the eve of the Reapers' invasion." Tali's voice is rueful, and more than a little bitter. "That takes… a certain kind of stupidity."

Garrus snorts. "It seems nobody has a monopoly on stupidity in this war. Even the humans weren't ready, and they had _Shepard_ trying to convince them."

He drapes an arm over the quarian's shoulders. "Come on," he says. "And I'll buy you a drink."

Tali's eyes go wide behind her faceplate. "What?" she asks him.

He leads her down the corridor to the port observation deck. "Ta da," he says proudly as the door swishes open. "Welcome to Club Normandy. Our own little shrine to blissful forgetfulness."

Tali turns her head to take in the card table, the couches, the bar. "Keelah," she says wonderingly. "Shepard finally managed it. She always said that she wanted the Normandy to have a lounge."

"I think you have Kasumi to thank for that," Garrus chuckles, striding to the bar. "What'll you have?"

"Do you have turian brandy?"

"You bet." Garrus fiddles with various bottles until he finds the one he's looking for, pouring a generous tot into two glasses and raiding the cache of neon-colored straws for the quarian.

He twitches a mandible in amusement, and raises his glass. "Bottoms up," he rumbles.

Tali giggles, and lifts her own glass. "What's the other one that makes no sense? Here's looking at you?"

"Humans," he says, but with an undercurrent of affection.

"Humans," Tali agrees, with a similar tone.

**-ooo-**

Garrus supposes he should have been prepared for what happens after he leaves the lounge.

"I suppose you're going to tell me that you're in love with the quarian, too? What is going on with you, Vakarian? When did you become the Normandy's Lothario?"

Alenko pushes himself off the wall and takes a few angry steps toward Garrus. Things have been strained since their conversation in the forward battery five days ago.

"Tali?" Garrus rumbles, trying to keep his voice light. "We all love Tali, Major. She's been with us from the start."

The last is a low blow, and Garrus knows it. He also doesn't care. He's not sure what Alenko meant by _the Normandy's Lothario_, but he gathers from the context that it's less than complimentary.

By the way the human's eyes narrow, Garrus can tell that the remark scores.

He's saved from whatever the Major was going to say next by Shepard's arrival. As always, Garrus feels his spirits lift when he sees her, and his heart stutter when her head turns in their direction and her lips curve in an increasingly-rare smile.

Her long legs carry her down the corridor with predatory grace.

"Kaidan," she greets the biotic affectionately. "Garrus."

Her green-gray eyes crinkle at the edges when she looks at him, and Garrus hears the change in her voice when she says his name. "Either of you seen Tali?"

"I think she and Garrus were having drinks at the bar," Alenko says pointedly.

"I should have known you'd get to her first, Vakarian," Shepard growls playfully. "You always did like stealing my shots."

Garrus can't help the way his mandibles flare in a smirk. "Maybe if you were a little faster on the trigger…"

Shepard snorts at him, and gives him a little check with her shoulder as she passes.

The look on Alenko's face is priceless.

"You… Tali… _Shepard_?" he manages.

Garrus feels his mandibles gape in bemusement before he can grasp the meaning behind the Major's words.

_Me, Tali and Shepard? He thinks that the three of us… Spirits, is that even possible?_

Garrus gives the impression of an in-place swagger. "Like I said, we all love Tali. She and Shepard and I make an _excellent_ team."

At that moment, Shepard's voice carries out to the two males. "So, is this private enough that I can finally greet you properly, Admiral?"

"Oh, get over here, Shepard, you bosh'tet." The warmth and affection in the quarian's voice is unmistakable.

A deep flush suffuses Alenko's dusky skin, and his eyes suddenly look haunted and pain-filled. Despite himself, Garrus feels a pang of sympathy, as the Major turns on his heel and walks away.

_He put himself in this position_, Garrus reminds himself as he makes his way back to the battery. _Remember, two weeks ago, he had a gun trained on Shepard's chest._

The memory fills Garrus with familiar indignant fury.

But later, as he makes adjustments in the Thanix cannon's tolerances, he finds the memory of the Major's grief-stricken eyes refuses to fade.


	4. Kaidan 1, Garrus 2

**Kaidan - 1, Garrus - 2**

It's late and the night shift is on when Garrus leaves the battery. He's hoping that Shepard is getting her head down, but that hope is leavened with a healthy dose of knowing the commander, so he asks EDI for her location.

"Commander Shepard is in the lounge," replies the AI, adding delicately, "She has been there for some time."

Garrus nods, though the AI's mobile platform is still up on the bridge. "Thanks, EDI."

"You are welcome."

Garrus smiles at the AI's tone, wondering how much of EDI's "personality" has moved from calculated attempts at mimicking human speech patterns to become habitual behaviors, and whether she even realizes it.

Shepard is hunched up at the bar, curled around a glass of amber liquid. Garrus doesn't need his visor to tell him she's inebriated, or to see her face to know she's hurting. He takes a seat at the stool next to hers and nods at the glass in front of her.

"What are you having?"

"Scotch." The answer is flat, bald - short and clipped but the consonants are all there, the ess crisp, not sibilant. She's holding herself together tightly.

"I thought you didn't drink… scotch," he teases. She'd made him watch all those terrible old human horror films - he might as well get some time out of them.

Her lips curl briefly, but there is no humor in it. "I don't," she answers.

"Mind if I join you?" he asks, rising and moving around the bar to rummage through bottles.

Shepard doesn't answer verbally, but lifts her glass and makes a slight arcing gesture with it, encompassing the bar area, that he takes to mean, _be my guest_.

He pours himself a shot of a deep silver liquor from Palaven - probably the last any turian will see for some time. A gift from Liara when his mother passed, the bottle was almost empty now.

"To friends we have, and friends we've lost," he says quietly. "May they enjoy a round at the bar until we see them again."

Shepard tilts her glass in his direction, and he taps it with his shotglass. "To friends," she echoes, eyes shining with tears that will not fall, that _cannot_ fall.

They both drink.

Garrus sets his shotglass on the bar top and pauses to lay a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I'll be here if you need me," he says, as always, and leaves her to her solitude.

* * *

He's in the mess when Alenko emerges from the elevator, choking down a protein bar he knows he should eat but would really rather not.

"Where's Shepard?" the biotic demands, as if Garrus has the commander secreted about his person or something. "She's not in her quarters."

"She's in the lounge," Garrus replies without thinking it through, assuming that the major has some piece of vital information to relay. Alenko hasn't really come to grips with EDI and her capabilities yet, and still takes tasks upon himself that could very well be left to the AI.

"At this hour?" Alenko's face wrinkles with disapproval. "She should be sleeping - or resting."

Garrus agrees with the major, but understands Shepard's need to grieve and to hide from the nightmares she won't talk about. "Some things are more important than sleep," is all he says.

Alenko snorts. "Since when is drinking more important than sleeping?" He fixes Garrus with an accusing glare. "I thought you would be taking care of her."

Garrus transfers his gaze to the protein bar and tries to keep his voice mild. "I am."

The biotic's brown eyes roll, and he turns on his heel, heading for the lounge. Garrus stands, and goes back to the battery, throwing the remainder of the protein bar in the trash on his way.

Knowing it's wrong, but unable to stop himself - _and it's only his concern for Shepard, always for Shepard, after all_ - he asks EDI to open a comm channel to the lounge.

_Maybe I was wrong to leave her. _

_Maybe I should have bullied her up to bed._

_She's just one woman, with the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders…_

"Shepard?" The biotic's gravelly voice is half-hesitant, half-exasperated.

Garrus hears her intake of breath. He has very good hearing, especially where Shepard is concerned. "Kaidan," she answers evenly. "Something I can do for you?"

He has to hand it to her - Shepard is the most controlled drunk he's ever seen. Her voice sounds tired but gives no hint to her current level of intoxication.

There's the rasp of clothing as the major approaches her. "You should be in bed, Shepard."

Shepard's voice has an odd glassy ring to it when she answers - she must be taking a sip of scotch. "There'll be time to sleep when I'm dead," she says - one of her favorite sayings - and Garrus feels his mouth shaping the word just as she adds, "Again."

The scrape of a stool against the deck plating. "What's wrong? You can talk to me, you know," Alenko urges.

"I'm fine."

"You're not," argues Alenko. "It's the middle of the night shift and you're drinking alone," he points out. "That doesn't sound fine to me."

"Just enjoying a nightcap."

"C'mon, Shepard. I know you better than that."

Shepard sighs, and Garrus hears the careful clink of her glass as she sets it down. "Kaidan, really, I'm fine. I'm just… processing, all right?"

There's the tiniest slur to the word processing. Shepard's control is starting to slip.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

The major is silent for a moment. Then, "I didn't realize you liked whiskey so much. I still have that bottle you bought me when I was…" he clears his throat, "…after Mars. I could get it and bring it up to your quarters, and we can talk, you know, like old times?"

There is another long moment of silence in which Garrus fancies he can hear Shepard drinking again.

"Whoa, slow down there, tiger…" jokes Alenko. "That's whiskey neat you're drinking."

"I know," says Shepard, and there is a slight edge in her voice. It is the sound of the commander's patience wearing thin.

"Shepard…" and Alenko's voice is now soft, gentle. "This has got to be… I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Earth… Palaven, Thessia… so many lives lost, so many more riding on what we do here. Let me help."

"Kaidan," and that was the sound of the commander's patience snapping. "I appreciate the concern," the sibilant cee got away from her, "but I don't want to talk about it. I just want some time to myself."

"Shepard? I think maybe it's time you stopped drinking…"

"_Kaidan_…" There is a warning in Shepard's voice, but Alenko ignores it.

"Look, Shepard, someone needs to take care of _you_. You put everyone else before yourself, you don't eat, you don't sleep… If Vakarian isn't going to step up, I will."

Shepard's voice is a low growl. "_Garrus_ knows when to shut up."

"Shepard…"

"Dammit, Kaidan," she roars, and Garrus winces. "Is it wrong for me to ask for a little time? I lost two friends. Is it wrong for me to want a moment to mourn them? To have a night where it's okay, for once, to let the deaths of two people be more important than two million?"

"I…"

"Just… go. Let me be selfish in peace."

The stool scrapes again, and there is another rustle of clothing that says that the major is retreating. The door opens, and he pauses. "I…I'm sorry, Shepard."

"I am too. Good night, Kaidan."

* * *

A half an hour later, there is the sound of uncertain footsteps approaching the battery. Garrus swings his legs off his cot in the corner and goes to the door in time to catch Shepard as she stumbles through it.

"I think," she says, and there is a wobble in her voice as she squints up at him. "I think I need you now."

Garrus gathers her to his chest and whispers into her hair.

"I'm here."


End file.
